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【生活智慧】為孩子做最寶貴的事情:陪伴他們經歷 「痛」

作為父母,你是否希望保護孩子免於痛苦?若果答案只是一個全面的肯定, 那我得告訴你,重點實在錯置了! 父母必須重新思考,保護孩子免受一切痛苦, 是否你的全部責任?

生命不能沒有風浪,作為父母的最艱苦卻又最重要的工作之一,就是訓練孩子們懂得面對和承生命的風浪。

作為父母,要得先問問自己,你想孩子變成怎樣的人?是個善良的人?是個出類拔萃的人?是個富有彈性,能應付不同處境的人?讓我告訴你,要孩子擁有這些特質,重點便是經歷 「痛」。若父母只一心保護孩子免受一切痛苦,他們可能因而缺乏了成為一個善良、出類拔萃、富有彈性,能應付不同處境的人的條件。

生命不可能無痛

生活絕不會永遠安全,所以父母的任務也不是要保護孩子避過每一次碰撞和瘀傷。反而父母有責任對孩子指出這是不能避免的。

試想像你現正在飛機上,經歷極大的氣流,若你看見空中服務員也很害怕,你將會更恐慌;但如果他們看起來平靜,你會覺得安心一點。陪伴孩子經歷生命的難關也一樣,父母的工作就是保持冷靜和微笑,讓孩子覺得安心。

當孩子經歷生命的動盪時,可能是成績不佳,可能是人際關係挫折,或是父母離異,若父母溫柔地對孩子說:「親愛的,這是對你的挑戰。你可能會受傷,但也會培養出智慧,勇氣和良好的品格。我看到你正在經歷很大的挑戰,同時也可以看到你的力量,比困難更大的力量。雖然當下很困難,但我會握著你的手一起經過,我們可做的事多著呢。」 這樣, 父母便能見證孩子被磨鍊得更聰明和更具彈性。

 

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