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人群中的孤單——談慶祝

圖:Pixabay

感恩能藉著新書《非暴力正念溝通 活出生命力量》問世,廣結善緣,並給予我很多慶祝的機會。這似乎在補償我過往生命中欠缺的部分——慶祝。

慶祝的滋味很甜、很溫暖、很喜悅,慶祝裏頭有很多連結和支持。因為慶祝,便有藉口去跟其他人聯絡。與他人的交往中,品嚐了很多的關心,也獲得貢獻的機會。很久很久沒有聯絡、見面的朋友,再次相遇,滿心歡喜。這段日子像回到當年準備婚禮,或為女兒舉辦滿月酒一般,高朋滿座,很是熱鬧。不同的是,今天「赴宴」的朋友,大都是在靈性道上同行的修行人,大家的能量安穩、平和、寧靜。我感到滿懷喜悅,流動溫暖,探問這些感受背後滿足了我的甚麼需要?一層層的,很多需要滿足了一一支持、團體、分享、重視、肯定、成長、慶祝、圓滿(fullness)、完整(wholeness)……

慶祝,一直是我不容易面對的事。小時候在家鄉,父親一年只從香港回家幾天,通常他回來的第二天,我家便會大宴親朋,慶祝父親的歸來。然後在父親將要離開的前兩天,家裏又要招呼大批客人,為父親餞行。我總覺得他們分薄了我和爸爸的相處時間,我一年只得幾天見到我爸爸呀!我根本沒有太多機會與爸爸相處,所以自小我便「討厭」慶祝,慶祝代表人群中的孤單,慶祝代表分離在即,每每慶祝過後,爸爸就要遠行了,又要等一年後才可見面。

今天,我慶祝得走過一段非常長遠的路,慶幸如今我終能享受慶祝了,並能品嚐它的甜美。感恩!

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